Thoughts On Personal Development, Girls Groups, Nature, and the Village
I thought healing containers would save me. They helped—but what I really needed was a village. I share the truth about postpartum loneliness, the missing piece in personal development.
INTRO: HI, HELLO, IT’S ME, LEX!
Dear Reader, if you are reading this now, you have successfully reached my Substack account—WAHOO!
I’ve honestly felt a lot of overwhelm and struggle in my biz lately…For all the reasons I shared here:
And also…not knowing what to post or where exactly. Since I’m long-winded and have a lot to say…
So IG can be a bit of a caption-killer (although I do love the aesthetic there!).
But email can feel like too many steps and a bit of a clunky drag.
So…here I am!
And here you are! Transferred from my newsletter over to my Substack (or you’ve stumbled across my stickity stack and should tots subscribe!)
Ok…without further ado, here are two pieces that have been hanging in my digital cobwebs, but that I (still) want to share with you! Take a listen, take a read, and please comment below and join the convo <333
Xx, Lex
PART 1: VOICE RAMBLINGS ON THE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT SPACE
I recorded this voice note ^ a month ago and never shared it because…well…I wasn’t sure the best platform to share on and then just got in my head.
SO!
This is me, walkin’ and talkin’ about what I see in the personal development world, what I’ve lived through becoming a mother, and what I believe is missing.
Hint hint: real community, rites of passage, and circles that hold us—not just for a quick season, but for a rich, juicy, deep, lifetime.
This is the seed of Moon Magic Club, and the bigger dream of reviving the village for our daughters and ourselves.
If you’re in Bermuda (or beyond) and this stirs something in you—listen, message me, comment here <3 Would love to continue the convo!
In this audio, I share:
Why the personal development world is powerful but not enough
The fantasy of being “fully healed” (and why it keeps us chasing)
How motherhood cracked me wide open to the aching absence of community, elders, and real rites of passage
The loneliness and soul-shattering reality of postpartum—and the preventative power of belonging
What I dream of for my daughter (and all our girls): circles, wise women, and ongoing community as they grow
Why I’m starting Moon Magic Club here in Bermuda—and envisioning a multi-generational village revival
PART 2: WE DON’T NEED MORE RESULTS…WE NEED ROOTS
On a similar note…I wrote this piece in a newsletter (that I never sent…is there a theme here?! but DID post on the gram) a couple of weeks ago. YAY for Substack for cutting through my overwhelm and giving me a place to put it ALL ;)
Here are some things I've been thinking a lot about lately...(pssst—if any of this resonates with you, please hit reply! I truly love hearing from you and being in relationship w you!!)
Nature + Intimacy (and why we're not meant to do this alone)
It’s funny the things we do that we don’t know have a name. It’s just a natural inclination or instinct. One example, for me, is nature. I’ve always been drawn to it, but if I’m honest, I’ve also taken it for granted. Most of us do. We exist alongside nature at best—or straight-up against it at worst.
I’m realizing (finally, thank gooooodness) that the hyper-indepence and individualism of our culture has robbed us of true intimacy. With ourselves, others, and the earth.
We’ve been taught to perform and strive and worship productivity and results as if they were IT. The end goal. lol. lol. LOL.
The Solo Path (and illusion of community)
So much of the work I’ve done over the past decade has been wildly focused on me. And I mean, yessss, thank god I did the healing I did and had the experiences I had. I am incredibly grateful for where they’ve led me.
But…I really was focused on me, myself, and I. And even though that was my focus, I CRAVED connection with others. So I joined group programs and mastermind thinking that THAT was #community.
But really, it was just a bunch of us on our solo paths walking next to each other. Sure, sometimes our paths would weave or we’d share the road for a hot sec, but mostly we were doing it alone. Womp womp.
Cracking Through (ego + illusions)
After nearly 37 years on this earth, I am realizing (or remembering) that we are soooo NOT here to do this alone.
We were never made for the independent life.
I am seeing through SO MANY illusions of my ego and being a product of a patriarchal and capitalistic society. So many things that I used to roll my eyes at are making my eyes water. My eyes are open now and my heart is too.
I refuse to be on the solo path and am deeply committed to not just linking arms but doing life together. My focus, FOR REALSIES now, is community and belonging.
The Pardox (of remembering the truth)
The weird and interesting thing is that in some ways waking up to all this has made me feel even lonelier at points.
Because once you know, you cant unknow. And suddently you see how many people around you don’t get it…or maybe just don’t want to. As open and spiritual and all that as I am, I think I was guilty of both of those things.
But alongside the loneliness there’s also this W I D E N I N G. Like oh…WOW. We are truly all connected. So cute and silly of us to think we’re not. I’m humbled daily with how freaking UNDENIABLE it is that we NEED each other.
Like so so so badly.
What I'm Craving (and actively...and patitently...cultivating)
I know I crave the deep nourishment of true community. Deep roots. Soul tribe. The real deal bb.
And me being me, I want it like THAT. LIKE YESTERDAY PLZ. I’d love to wave a wand and have the instant village. I tried this method for years now…just hoping I’d fall into a crew and community that would be IT.
I can see how capitalistic and alllll that this kinda thinking is though. GULP.
Intimacy (I’m coming to understand) doesn’t work like that. It takes time. Showing up. The awkwardness of putting yourself out there and possibly being rejected. And then trying again. And again. And again. AND AGAAAAIN.
My Practice (it's the lil things bb)
And so I practice…
I walk my neighborhood and stop to make convo w my neighbors (or as much as they’re up for).
I put down my phone in line at the pharmacy and talk to the 80 year old woman in front of me.
I initiate conversations w another mom at the pool and ask for her number.
I reach out and try to make plans (sometimes multiple times) instead of letting “life” take over.
I sit in nature and observe and interact w it.
Oh yeah, here we go—which brings me back to the beginning of this note…our natural inclinations.
Back To The "Sit Spot" (promise it all comes together here!)
For me—being in nature is an instinctive pull.
In the Pathways to Womanhood program I’m in, one of the early lessons talks about finding a sit spot. And funnily enough right before I went through that lesson, I planned to walk down to the field by the ocean and watch the waves.
I had no idea a “sit spot” was a thing, but it’s something I’ve been doing ever since I was little in various places I’ve lived. Sometimes it’s been a consistent ritual and other times it’s been more sporadic. But I’m always called back.
And while I didn’t need to learn about it being an actual thing to know its power, it’s reminding me of the magic and why I do it.
The Gift I Want To Give (to the next generation + beyond!)
I want to give this gift of remembering to the next generation (and beyond).
Because sooo many of the things they’re searching for (and I have been searching for), they already know in their bones.
Belonging, intimacy, meaning, and magic are not “extra” or “nice to have.” They’re the whole effing point.
That’s what Moon Magic Club is about.
It’s a place for girls to come back to what they already know. To root into the earth, their magic, and each other.
Because once they remember, everything changes (for the better).
My Invitation To You (and girls you care about deeply)
If you’re a mama (or caregiver) of a preteen or teen girl—this message is for you: Moon Magic Club is one of the greatest gifts you can give your girl.
And no...it is def NOT another extracurricular or thing for your girl to do or achieve or add to her stress list.
It’s a silly meets sacred space for your daughter to belong. To circle up with other girls. To learn the rhythms of nature and her own body.
To feel her magic reflected back to her. Not just once, but over and over, until it becomes second nature and is her NORM.
Enrollment for our fall circle in Bermuda is now open (+ virtual one is being considered)✨ Hit reply if you're local or if you'd love your daughter to join a virtual MMC!
Your daughter needs roots, community, and a circle to return to over and over and over again. We’re here for that <3
xx, Lex