The 7 questions every mother needs to be asked

New series! 7 questions answered by a range of mothers reveal the antidote to “shoulds,” shame, and the myth of the perfect mother.

Hiiieeee! There’s been a name change to this subby but we haven’t realllly spoken about it. So IT’S TIME! …also I’m introducing a series I plan on creating where I ask 7 questions to a range of mothers (of all stages and seasons)…SO if you’d like to be featured or you have someone in mind who you’d LOOOOVE to see on here. Let me know ;) Reply, comment, or DM me on the gram @lexidangelo

Who This Is For

If you felt your sole (SOUL!) calling was schedules, wiping butts, and chasing imaginary gold stars of being a “good mom”…this prob isn't for you ;)

If you crave spaces where mothers get to be honest, alive, contradictory, brilliant, messy, magical creatures—hiii! You've found us! We love you already.

MOTHER & is for the woman who’s in her #momlife era and her #morealive era.

If you’re here, you know raising babies and becoming the FULLEST most sizzlin’, full-range, litty in the titties version of you can co-exist. You are so DONE pretending you’re only one thing. *Snoooooze.*

You’re ready to meet the woman, the artist, the visionary, the witch, the lover, the chaos creature, and the truth-teller living underneath any single role

Why MOTHER & Exists

There’s no denying motherhood is an ever changing and spiraling journey.

And I want every woman who crosses this threshold to know:
your becoming is not a detour, a nice-to-have some day, an inconvenience, or a guilty pleasure—it’s the medicine you, your babies, and the world have been waiting for.

We’re here for the full journey of matrescence—the identity rupture, the rebirth, the shadows you didn’t see coming, the desires you can’t shake, the lineage you’re untangling, and the community your soul has been begging for.

MOTHER & is…

Where you get to show up as the mother & everything else you are.
Where we talk about the things you have swirling in your brain at 3am but rarely say out loud.
Where your sassy, sweary, sacred, silly, sexy, soulful self is alllll welcome!

Oh…and where you NEVER feel like you have to mother any one “right way” (see below).

The Myth of The One “Right” Way

There is NO one way to mother.

And yet…almost every damn mom I know still carries the ache that maaaaybe (probably) she’s not doing it right. Or not doing enough. Or not doing it like her—you know, the mom who’s meal-preppin’ with one hand while breastfeeding with the other and somehow still looks like she’s made from moonlight and starlight.

But that mom doesn’t exist. At least not the way you think.

What does exist is an entire constellation of mothers out here doing it their own freaking way. Some with a nanny and chef and color-coded calendar. Some with two jobs and no partner. Some who co-parent. Some who solo parent. Some who became mothers by choice, others by surprise, others through heartbreak, longing, loss, or divine rerouting.

Some are in the newborn haze. Others are blending families. Some are in the sweet spot where their kids sleep past 6am and no one’s smearing yogurt on the wall. (I wonder what that’s like…) Some are mothering full-time. Some are building businesses. Some are doing both in the frontseat of a parked car while a toddler naps and the WiFi barely holds.

Motherhood is constantly shapeshifting, which means there’s no formula. Only the truth that the way you mother gets to fit you—your life, your body, your capacity, your nervous system, your values, your resources, your desires in this moment.

The System Would Prefer You Not Notice…

The patriarchy would lurrrrvvv for us to keep mothering in silence and comparison—so we don’t notice how warped and narrow the “right” way has become. It would lurrrrvvv for us to burn ourselves out on the altar of invisible labor while pretending we’re fine 😅 And hot diggity dog, it would really LURV for us to judge each other instead of gather together to witness and cheer each other on.

The system thrives when we stay small, silent, and self-doubting. But mothers thrive when we tell the truth—and witness each other in it.

That’s what we’re all about here ;)

The Power of The “&”

This is MOTHER &.
The “and” is everrrrything.
Because you’re a mother and a human.
Mother and wild.
Mother and a creative.
Mother and tender.
Mother and a dreamer.
Mother and ambitious.
Mother and a matcha enthusiast.
Mother and messy.
Mother and a hobby horser (maybe?! plz tell me if you are).
Mother and not entirely sure you want to mother like this anymore and are dreaming of a different way…

Every mother has multiple possibly hidden, vvv holy aspects of her life that don’t just evaporate once children arrive.This space is where those parts get to breathe again and come out from hiding and SHIIINE.

The New Series + It’s 7 Juicy Questions

While this entire publication is devoted to sharing a spectrum of truths about motherhood—with all the contradictions and complexity and beauty and heartbreak and freedom that comes with choosing your own way. I realllly wanted to share the experiences of MANY mothers. Not just me, myself, and I.

So, to honor the many ways to mother, I will be asking women across wildly different lives and stages a set of questions that cut through the “shoulds” and reveal the soul of how she uniquely mothers. EEEEEK, I’m soullll excited!!!

I plan to ask…

What season are you in?

• Give us the snapshot—life, capacity, context.

• How many kids? What ages? Anything important to note about them and the stage they’re in or who they are?

• What’s the feel of this chapter for you?

On identity + origin story

• What version of “mother” were you taught to become—and which parts did you choose to keep or burn?

• What kind of mother did you actually imagine being before life happened and pulled you in the direction you’re in?

• What surprised you most about who you are in this season?

What are your “&s”? Aka the identities, desires, and roles that exist alongside “mother.”

• Which of your “&s” feel most alive right now? Which feel underfed?

• What part of you do people forget exists because they mainly see the mom version?

• What feels SO freaking crucial to your aliveness and vitality (at least in this season) that you prioritize and make time/energy/space for?

• What “&” would you resurrect if guilt, comparison, embarrassment, or shame weren’t invited to the party?

What does your support system actually look like?

• Who helps you care for your children day-to-day?

• What support do you have that you’re grateful for…and how do you feel naming it out loud? Proud…weird…shameful?

• If you built your ideal support structure without shame, pressure, or comparison, what would it look like?

What do you love about the way you mother?

• What feels sacred or deeply right about your way (for you, during this season)?

• What choice or style or way makes you feel, “Yuuup—this is perfect for me”?

• What has made motherhood more enjoyable/magical/juicy/interesting/fulfilling/sustainable for you?

What feels really hard?

• What parts stretch you the most?

• What do people not see?

• What feels like too much…or not enough…or both?

What’s a belief you hold about motherhood or being a woman that might shock people or rock the boat?

• What do you believe about mothering that goes against the cultural script you inherited or have heard?

• What feels true in your bones—even if others would side-eye it?

• What rule did you realize you don’t actually believe in?

• What’s something you haven’t said out loud about your beliefs/the way you mother—but are now ready to?

What Happens When Women Answer Honestly

Omggg I’m so excited to read these answers!! Because even following a range of mamas across the internet (and in real life), I def have a reaction to what they share. Some moms inspire me, some things they say/do feel edgy, some empower me to do things differently, and some just don’t resonate at all (at least not right now). And that’s perfect.

Because the point isn’t for all of us to agree, but to make space for the breadth of truth without hierarchy or shame—so we can return to our own knowing.

Just one woman owning her truth becomes a permission slip for the rest of us. So a here’s my deep thank you, in advance, to the women who will be part of this and share.

An Invitation While You Engage With This Series

As you read, don’t look for the “right” way to do this.
Look for the share that makes your body exhale. The sentence that gives you permission to mother on your terms. And as you do, keep reminding yourself that your way—yesss, even with the messy parts, the contradictions, the weird cobbled-together mix of privilege and pressure—is PERFECT.

You are not doing it wrong. Unless it feels wrong for you. You are not less worthy because your motherhood doesn’t look like hers.

This is the many ways to mother.

What’s yours?

(Oooh I can’t wait to hear more!!!)

Xx, Lex

PS — Pretty please with a cherry on top, reply, comment, or DM me on the gram @lexidangelo with who you’d LOVE to see featured as part of this series!!