Lately, I’ve found myself desiring to make art. Not with a paintbrush, a guitar, or through dance, but through my words.
Whether that’s pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, or voice to phone.
I have thoughts, feels, and musings I desire to express and have read, heard, and witnessed.
I long to be more internal and cocooned and not so out there and “on” in my business—meaning, not on lots of calls, not cranking out obscene amounts of content, not needing to show up in a certain way online, etc.
And while I’ve given myself that space, I’ve also caught thoughts like, “Yeah, but you also need to work. To do business things. To sell. C’mon Lex, get your butt back in gear, be the CEO and business owner you can be and have been.”
And then I pout.
“Boo, you whore! (Insert Mean Girls meme.) But I don’t wanna. Don’t make me!”
And so…I don’t.
I “listen” to my desires.
But it isn’t done freely. There’s a price I pay.
I pay with belittlement.
Belittlement because surely I can’t “sit around” all day doing “nothing” (yup, I’m relegating writing, walking in nature, and making art to nothingness, yikes). That’s silly. That’s not professional. That’s not what real people in the real world do.
I pay with shame.
Shame because if I’m not posting on social media constantly, selling my offerings, and being “on” then I’m not doing it right. I’m not doing a good enough job. I’m not fulfilling a standard the industry set and that I bought into.
I pay with guilt.
Guilt because not everyone has the luxury of taking “off” multiple days or weeks on end. Who am I to be able to afford such opulence? And if I’m actually enjoying myself while someone else is painstakingly “making a living”, how the fuck is that fair?
And so on.
But here I am, in spite of the price(s) I pay.
Creating.
Expressing.
Making art.
Because deep down my soul knows that right now I need to create for creation’s sake.
I need to express myself freely and unfiltered to remember my truths.
I need to make art to feel connected to my magic.
You might hate what I have to share. You may love it. You may feel disconnected from my words or they might feel like a salve for your soul.
Regardless of how it makes you feel or how others receive what I have to share, I have to share it.
So right now, this space is first and foremost for me. And I also hope that this serves you in some way and feels valuable for the exchange of your time, energy, and even money if you choose to upgrade to the paid experience.
Psssst! I wanna share a bit more about what you can expect from this space (and beyond) depending on your subscription choice.
Free - Access my writings and musings.
Paid - Get access to “paid” subscriber-only writings, podcast episodes, PLUS tastes from my paid experiences outside of the Substack space.
This might be snippets from a lesson inside of the Transformational Arts Practitioner Certification (did you know we have our signature multimodality certification program, plus 12 Single Modality Certification Courses…and oh so much more?!)
A transmission from Possibility Portal
A portion of a training from one of our virtual retreats
A potent resource
Etc.!
The value of these experiences is worth thousands of dollars, so this is quiiiite the juicy deal! Especially with our 11/11 Special Offer.
Typically, the paid subscription will be $111/month or $1,111/year but for the next couple of days, you can lock in one year for $111.10 or pay $11.10 monthly. Ummm yum. Yes, please!
Got q’s about this? Send me a DM over on IG @lexidangelo and I’m happy to chat it out!
So so thrilled to have you in this space.
Xx Lex